Recurring Dream
by Acepilot6
Summary: First dates and revelations. Chapter 3, "World Where You Live", now posted. PKT triangle and other couples. Please read and review. Sorry it's taken so long!
1. Into Temptation

**Into Temptation  
**Acepilot

Author's Note: This fic is to some extent my attempt to write a proper love triangle, which is something I don't consider "In the End" to have been. That fic was really just a love story between Phil and Kimi, because all the problems in that were of their own making. Tommy wasn't really a character in that, he was just an excuse. This time I want to fully develop all three characters to some extent or another. I hope you enjoy this fic. There'll be more coming.

This fic is named after and to some extent inspired by the song "Into Temptation", written by Neil Finn and performed by Crowded House, on the "Temple of Low Men" album.

--  
**Phil  
--**

"Ow."

I resist the temptation to clutch at my leg but hop over to grab the ball from where it fell after rebounding off. "I think you were deliberately trying to hit me!"

Kimi Finster brushes her hair back and mock-glares at me. At least, I hope it's a mock-glare. "And well I should have, DeVille. Throws like a girl indeed."

I chuckle as I throw the ball back to her, and take the opportunity to watch her. It's something I find myself doing a lot lately...watching her. Watching her move, watching her think, watching her...being her, really.

God, I sound like a girl with a crush.

Or maybe just a guy with a crush on a girl.

We've been spending a lot of time together, lately. More than I've been spending with anyone else, really. She's just...easy, to be around. We click. We have fun together. We play sport, or video games, or we hang out at the mall, or we listen to music. Whatever it is we do, it's always easy, and enjoyable.

I think I'm falling for her.

Which brings up all sorts of problems.

--  
**Tommy  
--**

"Dil, I have a question for you."

My little brother swings his wheelie-chair around to face me, and looks down at me with a "carry on" expression on his face.

It's not what I was going to ask, but I can't help myself: "How the hell do you get in and out of that thing? And how did you stick it onto the roof?"

He grins and hits a spot on the roof. Next to it, a tile opens, dropping a coiled rope out of it which he then grabs and shimmies down. "With grace and dignity. And that was two questions. Do you want a third just to round it off?'

I roll my eyes. "Alright, I wanted to ask you about..."

God, this is embarassing.

"Girls."

Dil's eyes light up like he's won the lottery, and I can almost instantly see the scheming and machination behind them. But then it's gone, and he's just smiling at me. Admittedly a little more broadly than usual. "And how can I help you there, my hopelessly inept big brother?"

I glare at him, but, tragically, he's not far wrong. My track record with this kind of thing is notoriously...well, lousy, and I have no desire to mess this kind of thing up again. "Well...there's someone I want to ask out. But...it's complicated."

Dil looks at me suspiciously. "It's not Chloe, is it?"

I roll my eyes at him. "No, it's not Chloe. She's yours, I get it. Only you could keep up with her, anyway." I sigh. "It's Kimi, actually."

His eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Oh."

"You see what I mean by complicated."

He nods, but doesn't make eye contact with me - lost in thought, he seems to be focussing on a world over my left shoulder. "Well...what brought this on? I didn't think you liked Kimi...that way."

I shrug, trying to find the right words. "Well, neither did I. But...lately, whenever we're around each other, I get this weird feeling...kind of...fluttery. Like I don't trust myself to speak. And she's really pretty, and...funny. There's lots of things. I just never used to notice about her, but now it seems like they're all I can think about."

Dil smiles. "Ah, the buttery crush. A popular flavour this year."

I glare at him. "Is that how you were with Chloe?"

Dil shakes his head. "I never felt...fluttery, with Chloe. I just felt really strongly for her. She understood me like no-one else did, or does. And I'm the same for her. After that, dating is just a nautral step."

I contemplate this. "I feel very strongly for Kimi, as well. I mean, we've been friends for like...forever."

"Which gives you a good head-start." Dil pauses in the conversation. "Are you sure you want to...risk, I guess the word would be - your friendship with Kimi over this? Have you given any thought to what might happen between you if you don't work out?"

I'm about to assure Dil that yes, I've thought about it, when I suddenly realise that no, I haven't even contemplated the possibility. The idea that things wouldn't work out between Kimi and I had not even come to my mind. "I...dunno. I don't think we wouldn't work out...I mean...I think we're really similar. And I think...sometimes, when we're around each other...I think she feels the same way about me that I do about her. She gives me these little smiles, or these looks - looks that make me think that maybe she feels like she wants to try being with me like I want to try being with her."

Dil stares at me for a moment, and I can see his mind racing behind his eyes. Flashes of various emotions overcome his face but are gone before I can comprehend what they were, and I am nearly in awe of the speed with which my brother's mind works. Finally, he bows his head and looks back up at me, his expression clear. "Do either of you have a date for the prom yet?"

I shake my head. "I don't. I'm pretty sure she doesn't either."

Dil nods. "Ask her to that. Trust me."

--  
**Phil  
--**

"I still say you cheated."

"I did not cheat, Phil. You just can't run fast enough."

I try to roll over to face her but my muscles groan in protest. "Alright, maybe I'm not as young as I once was."

She barks out a short laugh. "We're only sixteen, Phil. A bit young to be chucking the whole 'I'm old' excuse around, don't you think?"

"My creaky bones and I will get back to you," I inform her, before finally just flopping back onto the grass and giving up on this whole moving pretense. "So, did you end up deciding on whether or not to go to the prom?"

She groans. "No. Mom and Dad really think I should go, but I'm not very keen on the idea myself. It's all a bit...cheesey, really, isn't it?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth," I tell her. "I never got the whole concept of dances and things. That and I don't have a date."

She chuckles. "Me either. Want to just save the trouble and go as friends?"

My heart leaps. It's an in. I can go to the dance with her as friends, and then, while we're there, ask her if she wants...to be more than friends. Sort of. I'll work on the wording later. There's that whole crush-on-Tommy issue I have to work around, but I'm more than willing to try.

I manage to keep my voice from cracking as I respond, "Sure. Sounds like a plan. Want me to pick you up from your place?"

--  
**Tommy  
--**

"You haven't asked her out yet, have you?" Dil asks me, chuckling.

I fume quietly. "No, I haven't. I can't quite seem to find the...right way of doing so."

"Saying 'Kimi, I want to go to the prom with you,' strikes you as too cliche, huh?"

I glare at my little brother. He shrugs it off, looking quite resplendent in his suit. "You've got it easy. You have a date for the prom by default."

"Still had to ask her out at some point..." he sing-songs. "Look, just go over there and ask her to go with you, and segue that into asking her out. It's not hard. It's like ripping off a band-aid."

"I took a layer of skin off doing that once."

Dil growls in the back of his throat. "You know, with you as a brother, it's amazing I turned out to be the optimist I am."

--  
**Kimi  
--**

"Do my eyes decieve me? Is Kimi Finster putting on make-up!?"

Part of me feels like I should be offended but for some reason I just laugh. "Well, as long as I'm going to this thing, I might as well look nice."

Chuckie sits down on the bathroom bench, next to where I'm looking at myself in the mirror. "So, who are you going with? Or are you heading out stag tonight?"

I sigh in frustration with my hair, before turning to face my big brother. "I'm going with Phil, if you must know."

He quirks an eyebrow. "Phil? Really?"

"Just as friends," I assure him. "Phil's nice. We're best friends but - "

"He's not Tommy." Chuckie cuts me off.

I glare at him. "I can't believe I ever told you about that."

He shrugs. "I'm a big brother, and therefore trustworthy. I wouldn't tell Mom. She'll have you married off in about five minutes."

I groan. "I don't know what it is. I'll never be able to tell Tommy I have feelings for him at this rate."

"Why not?"

"Whenever I get around him, I go...I dunno how to phrase it. I get nervous, and freeze up, kind of. I find it hard to talk or anything. Not like with Phil - Phil I'm happy to go to prom with because I know I'll have a good time. Phil and I have fun. It's what we do. I think that if I liked Phil like I like Tommy, we wouldn't have as relaxed a friendship as we do."

A brief flash of confusion crosses Chuckie's face, and he seems to be trying to work out a math problem or somethng. He eventually gives up and turns back to me. "If you say so," he shrugs. "Either way, Tommy's a great guy. I hope the two of you do get together."

I sigh and think of the boy in question for a moment. Brave. Strong. Friendly. Pretty much everything a girl could want. It's amazing he's not been snapped up already, and I'm not about to wait any longer.

Soon, I promise myself.

"Kimi," there's a call from downstairs - Dad. "There's someone at the door for you."

--  
**Phil  
--**

I smooth imaginary creases out of my suit as I get out of the car. I've borrowed Dad's for the evening - my ute probably isn't the best thing to take a girl to the prom in. At least, not if you want to impress her. I grab the wildflowers off the front seat and take several deep breaths.

It's Kimi. It's just Kimi.

Just wonderful, perfect, funny, fun, easy-going, beautiful, amazing, indescribable Kimi.

I'm so screwed.

I walk carefully up the footpath to her house, trying desperately not to trip over. Probably wouldn't be a good move at this juncture. I finally reach the door without incident, and raise my hand to knock.

Within seconds, it's answered by her. I feel my breath catch in my throat: she's breathtaking. Literally. In her blue dress, long and flowing but very snugly fit regardless.

I'm not going to last the night.

"Good evening, my fair lady," I improvise wildly, trying to sound as suave as possible. "Shall we make our way to the ball?"

She chuckles, but there's something about her eyes...something which has me feeling nervous. "Phil...I need to talk to you."

Nerves just became alarm bells as she pulls the door shut and stands with me on the front step. "What's up?"

"The most incredible thing happened today," she begins. "I wasn't expecting but...I'm sorry, but I hope you'll understand -"

And I do. Before she can even form the words, I know exactly what has happened.

"Tommy asked me out. Asked me...to be his girlfriend."

I nod. "Oh," seems to be all I can say.

"I'm really sorry, but as we were just going as friends..."

"It's alright," I rush to assure her. "Go, have a good time."

She smiles at me softly and, despite the fact that the world just turned upside down in thirty seconds, I feel a rush of affection for her. "Thanks, Phil," she says, reaching out and clasping my arm. "You're a good friend."

"Only the best will do for you," I try to joke, but I feel a crack in my voice that I have to fight off.

"Did you want a ride? We can all head off together -"

"No," I tell her. Part of me feels repulsed by the very idea of being around her and Tommy together. They should be alone. This is their first date, after all. "No, have a good time. I'll see you there, though."

She nods and smiles at me again. "Thank you," she repeats, and goes inside.

I turn to walk down the footpath, and it's only as I reach the car again that I realise the flowers are still in my hands.

--

**there's more to come. for the moment, please review.**


	2. Chocolate Cake

**Chocolate Cake**  
Acepilot

Author's Note: The sequel to "Into Temptation", no.2 in the "Recurring Dream" series. Takes place about a week or two after the first story. The gang gather to play cards and spend the night together, and new dynamics in the group are tested, revelations come onward, excitement is had, and junk food is eaten. This was going to be a second chapter for "Into Temptation" but has grown too far beyond that and will now become part of a series instead. This fic got way out of control: a thousand-word piece on jealousy turned into...well, this. **Please note: This fic may seem strange, because Phil and Tommy do not have really parts from their P.O.V. This is intentional, and will be remedied in the next story.**

This story is partly inspired by the song "Chocolate Cake", written by Tim and Neil Finn and performed by Crowded House on the Woodface album. The work of these two wonderful singer/songwriters is really rousing my muse from hibernation at the moment: this song brought to mind the image of a montage of the gang playing poker. The video clip for the song can be found online, it's very good.

Disclaimer: The characters contained within are property of KlaskyCsupo. Except the character of Chloe, who is my invention.

--  
**Lil  
--**

The sound of bubbling cheese is almost enough to make my arteries clog up in horror. "You aren't seriously going to eat those are you?"

Phil shrugs as he pulls the nachos from hell out from under the grill. "I might have a couple. They're more for Chuckie, I know he likes them."

I sigh at the horrifying sight of cheese and corn chips even as my brother stacks them with sour cream, salsa and guacamole. "I didn't know you wanted him dead so badly."

He rolls his eyes at me. "You're going to be fun to be around tonight, I can tell. Have we got music ready?"

"I'll just throw some on," I tell him, heading over to the stereo. "Did we get a final count on who's coming?"

"Almost everyone, I think," he calls out to me from his position in the kitchen. I can hear a spray can of something going off, but I can't think of anything that he'd possibly be spraying on the junk food that typically gets consumed on our card nights. "You, me, Dil, Chloe, Susie, Angelica, Tommy, Chuckie, Kimi. Wally is a 'maybe, probably no', Z is a 'maybe, probably yes', and Jason's definitely out."

I nod and hum to myself as I sift through the CDs, trying to find an appropriate starter for the evening. "Wally's been asking about you."

"Why? We talk all the time," he points out, sounding puzzled.

I roll my eyes. Boys. Even my brother...only the clearly inferior gender could be so thick. "Not that kind of asking about you. She's interested in you little brother. If you decide to pursue something, I promise I won't stand in the way this time."

By the time I finally pick a CD and the first strains of Patti Smith's "Horses" start filling the apartment, I realise that Phil still hasn't said anything and it's been the best part of a minute. "Phil?"

He still doesn't say anything but i can hear him take in a particularly sharp breath. "Yeah. Thanks. I'll...think about it."

I'm about to question him on this strange - to say the least - response, but before I can try to do so, there is a knock on the door, signifying that the first of our guests has arrived.

"You want to get that?" he asks from the kitchen, relief creeping into his voice. I file away the conversation for future reference before going to the door and pulling it open.

"Good evening, fine and distinguished guest," I offer, bowing low. "Welcome to our humble abode."

Angelica rolls her eyes and crosses the threshold. "Humble indeed. Aren't your parents ever going to make extensions to this dump?"

At the mention of my parents I feel a flash of hurt in the back of my mind but push it away quickly. "Next time I see them, I'll let them know your feelings on the subject."

Angelica shrugs off my discomfort along with her coat and strolls deeper into the house, toward the kitchen. I can hear her cry of "My god, you call that food?" as I swing the door shut again to keep the warm air at least somewhat in.

--  
**Kimi  
--**

I can barely feel the ground beneath my feet. It's as if I'm floating on air. I'm about to spend the night playing cards with my best friends. And...my boyfriend.

My heart gives a little flutter and I skip a little over the pavement.

Certain other people, however, are evidently more firmly anchored to the ground.

"Would you slow down!?" Chuckie pleads, "Some of us aren't up in the clouds tonight and have to walk like normal people."

I pause to allow him to catch up, and - in a fit of sheer wonderment and fun - dance around him as we walk, careful not to trip over his feet.

He rolls his eyes. "God, you'd think it had been two months since you two saw each other, not two days."

"Well, it sucked that he had to go away," I tell my evidently far-too-patient brother. "We're just brand new in a relationship and he had to go to Wisconsin for two whole days! It's just clearly not-fair."

"You two haven't even been on a real date yet," Chuckie tells me, "so I think you're a bit premature in calling it a relationship."

I stick my tongue out at him. "Just because you haven't got a girlfriend doesn't mean you get to rain on my parade."

He glares at me. "I might have a girlfriend."

"Or you might not."

We bicker amicably until we reach Phil and Lil's house, and Chuckie knocks on the door. Phil answers it, an easygoing grin on his face as he laughs at something someone inside has said -

"Hey," I say to him.

- which is instantly wiped off and replaced with a forced smile.

"Hi, guys. Come on in," he suggests, leading us into the house and pulling the door shut behind us. "You're still pretty early, Angelica and Susie are the only ones here yet."

At this, Chuckie raises an eyebrow, to which Phil returns a shrug. I quirk an eyebrow at that little exchange, but choose to think about it later. "Well, the college students must have sniffed the money and come running."

Phil chuckles, but it's not his usual, free-flowing laugh. Something's wrong with him, but I can't quite put my finger on what.

We walk on through to the kitchen. Lil and Angelica are sitting at the table chatting, while I can see Susie through the back-door, sitting on one of the deck-chairs and smoking a cigarette.

I very nearly do a double-take at that sight. Susie Carmichael, a med-student, the voice of reason, smoking. It doesn't quite seem to fit.

"Uh...I hate to ask, but..."

Phil shrugs in a very succint gesture of 'I dunno'. "She's not looking too happy. I haven't had a chance to talk to her yet."

"I'll be sure to try and have a word," I tell him.

As Chuckie deposts the drinks we brought on the table, Angelica and Lil finally notice our presence and say hi. But I can't help but notice a very significant absence.

"Tommy and Dil aren't here yet?"

Lil chuckles. "No. They'll probably be late - such a long walk for them, you know."

Everyone laughs at this but I feel a bit edgy all of a sudden. What if he's not coming? What if he's decided he doesn't want to see me? He said he did on the phone, but maybe he was just trying to find a way to let me down easy. He doesn't really want me at all, I was just a date to the prom! He didn't want to go alone, that rat bastard led me on! I can't believe him, I just -

My racing thoughts distract me from the fact that not only has someone been knocking on the door, but Phil has actually left the room and let them in. My inner monolgoue finally breaks when I feel a pair of lips against my cheek, and hear Tommy's voice say, "Hey."

My heart melts with a single word. God, I'm turning into something really mushy. Part of me can't quite believe that he's actually there, having just convinced me that I'd never hear his voice again, and my response is a struggle. "Hey," I finally manage. "Was your trip...good?"

"It was Wisconsin," he replies. "I...wish you were there."

Phil raises a hand, counts off one-two-three, and with a wave conducts everyone present, including Dil and Susie, who is leaning against the back door, to say "Aww."

I ignore them as best I can. "I wish I was there too."

"I'd say you two should write poetry but I think Pink Floyd said it better," Angelica tells us. "Now are we going to stand around all night or should we play some cards?"

--  
**Lil  
--**

I return to the table after putting on a fresh CD, with "Mean to Me" filling the room in accordance with the tradition of these card nights. As I sit down, I try to covertly guage the mood of the table, watching each of the players. Chuckie fidgets, eyes darting. He's always nervous before the first hand. Angelica has taken her sunglasses off - she hates to hide her eyes when she plays, says she feels like it's for wusses. She's the world's best liar anyway - what difference would it make? Susie looks taut and drawn, with - I notice for the first time - bags under her eyes, leaving her dazzling smile seem tired and withdrawn. Her gaze keeps darting around the table.

I'm a bit worried about her.

Kimi's gaze is torn between staring at the currently empty pot in the middle of the table and Tommy, who she is trying to subtly watch but failing miserably. Tommy is reciprocating, fiddling with his chips but keeping his eyes on his girlfriend. Dil is watching his brother and Kimi and trying very hard not to laugh, while Z is -

Staring at me.

I feel a slight blush beginning at the soles of my feet and creeping it's way up my body. I smile shyly at him and he winks at me.

Well, he's getting bolder, at least. Maybe he'll ask me out some time this century.

Chloe has her eyes shut and would look asleep if not for the way that she drums her fingers on the tabletop. And finally Phil is determinedly looking everywhere but at Tommy and Kimi, but most particularly is watching Susie, with a curious, moreso than worried, look on his face. He shuffles the cards rapidly before finally becoming satisfied that they're randomised, and cuts before dealing.

"Alright, everyone, we have Uno to begin, and the kitty is twenty cents each."

As we all ante, and pick up cards, I think idly about starting the inevitable conversation. But I decide that tonight isn't my night. There are too many things to talk about and I can't choose one. So, I decide to let someone else choose the topic.

Thankfully, Z doesn't keep us hanging for very long.

"So, Kimi, Tommy. Do we get to interrogate the newfound lovebirds on how it all came to be? Some of us missed the memo."

Kimi rolls her eyes at her former crush while Tommy hides his face, which I notice was beginning to colour, behind his cards.

Dil chooses, unsurprisingly, to back Z up and open the conversation to the masses. "Yeah, T. Was taking 'my' advice as rewarding as you'd hoped?"

Tommy glares at his little brother, who winks at Chloe. She seems to have been reading everyone's lips as she grins at him.

"There's nothing that interesting to tell," Tommy says, emerging from behind his hand as I lead with a blue six. Play begins at the rapid pace that we like to keep on these nights. "I pretty much just asked Kimi to the dance. And told her that I find her incredibly attractive and funny and would like to go out with her."

"Hard to resist that kind of line," Phil says, throwing a red nine out. "I might have just fallen in love with you myself."

Everyone laughs, but I look carefully at my brother out of the corner of my eye. There was an edge to his voice there that I don't like the sound of at all. I lay down a draw-two but I keep a close watch on Phil, despite Chuckie's cry of protest.

"You all may laugh, but he was very charming," Kimi says. She clasps Tommy's arm with her hand not currently holding any cards. "And a gentleman."

"Our mother would be extremely disappointed in him if he wasn't," Dil points out, turfing out a reverse. I hope Chuckie doesn't have anything saved up for vengeance purposes.

"Didn't see much of you at the dance, Phil," Z states. "Miss the bus?"

Phil sticks his tongue out at the greenhead. "Didn't have a date," he corrects. "I went, but I didn't hang around very long."

There is a slight edge of tension and a look of guilt on Kimi's face. But only for an instant. Then it's gone and everyone's back to staring very hard at their cards.

The game wears on in uncharacterstic silence. Finally, startling everyone out of their catatonia, Chloe knocks loudly twice on the table, laying down her second-to-last card. Eyes frantically dart between Phil and Z, trying to determine if either of them can do anything to derail Chloe's imminent success, but both shrug at the other. I roll my eyes at their utter hopelessness.

Phil drops a green four and calls "Uno" himself, at any rate, so now we've got two to deal with.

"Can anyone change the colour?" Dil asks.

"You're really not meant to ask questions," Phil points out, but it's jokingly: he's just as guilty of doing it every time we play.

A chorus of "no" responds to Dil, and so we let the play go on and Chloe takes the hand triumphantly. As I gather and shuffle the cards, I watch Phil - now lacking cards to shuffle, he is instead fiddling with his chips and watching Susie with a curious look on his face, as if trying to work out some sort of puzzle.

It's at this point that I just decide to give up and play cards. This is all probably going over my head.

--  
**Z  
--**

I try not to make the motorcycle noises along with the record as "Bat out of Hell" winds to it's climax. It's a challenge. I'm also trying very hard not to show that I'm sweating, but it's a balmy autumn evening in California and I think that it seems to be a bit of a no-hoper on that count. It's a stressful hand - replacements have been drawn, the game has been played, and it's down to just the two of us.

"I see your thirty," I finally decide, moving the appropriate chips, "and raise you another thirty."

Lil grins at me and brushes the coloured lock of her hair out of her eyes. "You're bluffing."

I shrug. "Maybe."

I am. I have a pair of nines, and there's currently a pot of five dollars on the table. With a forty-cent limit, this is a pretty good effort.

I can't read Lil, though. Most of the time, I can get a solid read on the others - Kimi's an open book, Angelica has subtle tells, Tommy and Dil both have a strange blush that rises on the top of their ears. Chuckie's generally too nervous to try and hide what he has - the poor boy never could quite get the hang of bluffing - and Susie and Chloe both dart their eyes from side to side whenever they have a bad hand, as if trying hide their reaction by checking on everyone else's.

But Phil and Lil are impossible to read, except, I think, to each other, because they very rarely get into betting wars between themselves. Lil has looking confident and - when she's betting against certain people - flirtatious down to an art, and Phil's expression when a hand is in play is always absolutely blank.

Tonight moreso than most.

I think I'm going to have to have a word to Phil about his situation. It's nowhere I haven't been before. Kimi and I realised long ago that whatever feelings had been present between us were gone - except friendship, which remains strong. We clung to an idea that we were right for each other, when we really weren't. The realisation hurt, sure, but it's also allowed me to move on to other things. Other feelings.

Which has led me to my current, and very intriguing situation, with Lilian DeVille.

"I see you and raise you forty," Lil states. Normally by this point the bids would tail off to smaller amounts, but she just keeps piling it on.

She's an interesting girl. She's fiercely independent - part of being a twin, I think - but at the same time she's incredibly close to those she does, indeed, care for. And while I've become a proper part of the group over the last few years, rather than just a hanger-on, I think I maybe want to become more. I want to know her better.

She's an interesting girl.

"I fold," I announce, throwing in my cards. "Too rich for me."

She smirks and tosses her cards facedown on the table before raking in the chips and grinning at me. "I knew you would."

I wonder vaguely if I have any tells.

"Are we going to find out what you guys had?" Angelica asks. We look at each other and shake our heads, but Phil is gathering the cards for the deal.

He checks out our cards, but decides not to comment beyond simply stating, "Not much."

She laughs and I do too. It's a bit infectious. I think if someone had told me six years ago, when we first met, that I would end up falling for Lil DeVille, I'd have laughed, but now I'm pretty happy with the prospect. And I think she is too.

We'll just wait and see.

--  
**Dil  
--**

I try not to think too hard about where my brother and Kimi have disappeared off to. Angelica and Chuckie are talking animatedly outside, about god-only-knows what. Not that I'm that fussed. Having a beautiful girl massaging your shoulders and pointing out good moves over your shoulder puts things into a marvelous perspective.

As Chloe indicates, I lay down the four of hearts, trying to flush out the thirteen, which I'm almost certain Z has.

"I think it's unfair that he gets someone to help," Lil complains, throwing out a useless six of spades. "Why don't I have anyone rubbing my shoulders?"

"You never asked," Z points out with a wink, depositing the five of hearts. Lil blushes a little as play carries on.

Susie throws out the thirteen of hearts with a vengeance. I take the opportunity to look at her up relatively close for the first time tonight: she's tired - not physically, but she looks...defeated.

"You okay, Susie?" Phil asks, playing the two of clubs.

"Yes, I'm 'fine', Phil." she grits out through her teeth.

I don't know entirely what the deal with Phil is tonight, but normally he would have left the conversation there. But tonight, apparently, he's having none of that. He wants an answer. I guess we all do. But his mood has more-or-less matched Susie's tonight, and apparently he's not about to back down in a hurry.

"You're not fine. Don't lie to us," he spits out. "You look troubled."

"All gotten together and talked about this, have you?" she asks, bitterly. "Good to know I'm such a wonderful conversation topic."

I'm starting to get a bit edgy at her uncharacteristic mood, but I choose to hold my tongue. Phil's manners are loose enough for the both of us.

"No, we haven't talked about it. But it's not hard to tell. We're worried about you, you idiot."

"That's right," Susie says. "I'm an idiot."

I raise an eyebrow at that and lock eyes with an equally bemused Lil. I start signing rapidly, aware Chloe will be watching my hands, trying to explain what's going on, but she taps me on the head, indicating that she's catching the gist.

Susie isn't finished. "I'm a massive idiot. I thought I could be a singer, but I never really tried hard enough. Then I wanted to be a doctor, but guess what - didn't try hard enough at that either! Now I'm just a friendly neighbourhood checkout-chick, a college drop-out, a failure."

The room falls silent. Susie's volume has interrupted Chuckie and Angelica, and they are now looking into the kitchen. Lil hangs her head, Z looks like he wants to reach out and help Susie, and I can hear Chloe sniffle very, very softly.

Phil has his eyes locked with Susie's. The two of them stare each other down, before, finally, Phil speaks.

"What happened?"

Susie's tone softens but she keeps a fiery look in her eyes. "I failed. It was all too hard, harder than I thought it would be. I don't know why I thought it would be easy, but...it all just got on top of me. I dropped out a few months ago. I work in a bookstore near campus."

Angelica and Chuckie have come back inside and I notice Angelica clasp Susie's shoulder. Susie is looking down at the table, but she reaches up and holds Angelica's hand - the simple movement of friendship and support is perhaps the strongest emotion I've ever seen from my cousin.

Phil looks like he's about to say something, but stops himself for perhaps the first time all night. By the time Susie looks up at him, he's cooled his features into flat lines. "Sorry I yelled at you."

"Sorry I pushed you," Phil returns.

"I don't really want to talk about it anymore," she says.

Phil nods, and that's all that seems to be needed. Susie gathers her winning cards back to her and then leads the new trick with the Jack of Diamonds.

As I contemplate how to respond to this bold move, I think about the revelation that just occurred. How much she must be hurting, how hard it might be for her to go on. How important it is for us to be a group, supporting each other, in this kind of situation.

Well, almost entirely a group. Tommy and Kimi are still somewhat not accounted for.

--  
**Kimi  
--**

I can see white light in front of my closed eyes, feel warmth on my lips, and smell the scent of fresh sweat and what must be the most seductive pheremones in history filling my nostrils.

When we finally break apart, I almost whimper in disappointment, but this strikes me as a bit of a needy thing to do, so I opt instead to brush my nose against his and whisper, "That's one hell of a 'good to see you'."

"Well, I've been wanting to say it all night. Guess it got pent up," he whispers in return, and we both chuckle. He cups my face and I want to kiss him again, so I do.

This is what I've always wanted to be doing, I think. Since I was nine. Well, maybe not between ten and twelve, but ever since I was twelve, anyway. Pre-adolescent crushes are fickle things, but this isn't. This is fantastic.

"What are you doing on Sunday?" he asks, still a little breathless as we part.

My mind floods with images of working at the Java Lava, hanging out with the gang, cleaning the garage, but none of it seems to settle on what it actually is I'm meant to be doing on Sunday. Words otherwise failing me, I simply say, "Nothing."

"Good. Want to go out with me?"

My heart leaps. He wants to go out on a date with me. It'll just be the two of us - it better just be the two of us. "Yes, very much. Where?"

"Movie? Coffee? Lunch? Anything...I'll admit that the plan hadn't progressed very far as yet," he says, somewhat sheepishly.

"Anything sounds pretty good to me," I reassure him, running a hand along his arm. "I was kind of worried that time away from me would...cool you off a little, or something. That you'd think this through and decide you didn't want me."

"I had the same worries," he admits. "I was worried that I didn't...well, I didn't deserve you, or something."

"Well..." I tease him lightly, before he shoots me a pleading look. I take pity on him and kiss him on the forehead. "Don't worry, you're more than any girl could want."

"Really?" he asks, surprised, and I get the feeling he's actually being honest here, and doesn't realise what a catch he is.

"Tommy, you're a popular, successful, smart guy. Do you have any idea how many girls you 'could' have gone to prom with?"

He looks at me incredulously for a moment before a mischevious look settles on his face. "You mean I could have other girls?

I growl and tackle him, knocking us both onto the ground. "Not anymore, Romeo."

He grins. "You're the only one I want, anyway, Kimi." He reaches up and brushes some hair out of my eyes.

"Well that's reassuring," I inform him, leaning across and kissing him softly on the lips. "I hate to say it, but perhaps should we rejoin the others?"

He groans. "Probably. We're not being terribly good guests at the moment, making out in the host's bedroom."

I look around Phil's room with a glint in my eye. "Probably shouldn't tell him about that, huh?"

"May not be the best idea," he admits, slowly getting to his feet before offering me a hand to do the same. "So, Sunday, noon, the Java Lava?"

"Sounds like a plan," I tell him. He offers me his arm in a display of old-fashioned chivalry, and I accept happily, allowing him to lead me down the stairs and back to our friends.

--  
**Susie  
--**

I hear the back-door pull open and shut behind me as I take a drag. I feel the slight hitch in my throat that has become oddly familiar over the last few months, and listen to the footsteps approaching me - cautiously, but boldly, as if simultaneously fearing I'm going to rip his head off and at the same time not caring.

Which really means it could only be one person.

"Smoke?" I ask, holding out the pack behind me.

"Is this your way of revenge? You're going to kill me by giving me lung cancer?"

I shrug. "Hadn't really thought that deeply about it, but...maybe."

"I'm really sorry about before," Phil says, sitting down next to me on the low-wall. He avails himself of a cigarette and returns the pack, before patting himself down and then holding out his hand again. "If you're going to try and kill someone with cigarettes, you should really also offer them a lighter."

I roll my eyes but pull a book of matches out of my pocket. He takes one and lights it, using it on his smoke and waving it out. "I'm not mad at you. It needed to come out sometime, I couldn't keep it a secret forever."

"I thought..." he takes a deep breath, as if preparing to say something unpleasant, "I thought it was about...y'know."

"I know."

"That's why I waited until...well, it's all irrelevant now, I guess," he says, slumping down as he takes a puff.

I reach out and take his free hand. "It's not irrelevant. And thank you for being a good enough friend to ask, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me."

"Don't disregard how uncomfortable it makes me, either," he says, squeezing my hand. I lean across and rest my head on his shoulder, and he reciprocates. Any other guy I wouldn't do this with, or at least it would make me feel painfully uncomfortable, but the complete platonic status of our relationship is absolutely assured. Phil knows I hold no romantic interest in him whatsoever and why, and the same can be said in the opposite direction, so we have perhaps the most comfortable friendship of our entire peer group.

"Hey, mind if I join you guys?" a voice startles us from our brief reprieve, causing us to break apart. The comfort, however, is not gone, and remains rolling off him in waves. Just like it does with everyone else here tonight, since my little explosion.

"Sure," Phil says, turning around and tucking his legs up onto the wall, sitting cross-legged and looking at both me and the new arrival.

"We could start a club," Z suggests, pulling up a deck-chair and taking a seat facing the two of us. "The 'We Missed our opportunity with Kimi Finster' club - "

"I was never interested in Kimi," I cut in.

"Well, then you can't join," Z tells me.

"That's a pretty exclusionary kind of club," I point out, pretending to be miffed.

"How about just the Missed Opportunity Club?" Phil offers as a compromise.

"What kind of activities would this club partake in, anyway?" I ask. "Sitting around, moping and feeling sorry for ourselves?"

The words 'We do that already anyway' hang in the air but no-one is willing to say them.

After some time, Z suggests, "We could also solve mysteries."

All three of us burst into hysterical laughter. It's perhaps, not appropriate, but on the other hand, it very much is. Here we are sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves, acting completely pathetic. We deserve to be made fun of, and we should really have the maturity to be the ones to do it.

"We could try and fix our lives," I suggest. "Correct our mistakes."

"Sounds good," Z agrees.

"Does that mean you're going to ask my sister out?" Phil asks, finishing off his smoke and stubbing it out on the wall.

"I think it just might," Z agrees. "No more waiting around."

"Hear, hear," Phil and I chorus.

"Are you going to go back to school?" Z asks me, and I feel both Phil and Z's eyes on me.

"I...don't know," I finally wuss out of a proper answer.

Phil reaches across and takes my hand again. "You'll be a doctor, I know it."

I smile at him, feeling his and Z's confidence in me lift my spirit a bit.

"Won't be considered to be much of a doctor if you keep offering people cigarettes, but..."

I shove Phil off the wall and onto the grass as the three of us laugh again. This is what I need more of in my life. No sitting around moping over the failure of my efforts at college, no more brooding over my failure to get anywhere with...certain people. I need to live, to be with my friends, to have fun again.

As Phil surfaces, he doesn't get back on the wall but instead kneels before it. "I brought a deck out with me. Up for some Snap?"

Z and I exchange a brief look, and I turn back to Phil with a grin on my face. "Alright, but remember that these hands are doctor's hands. I'll need them down the road."

--  
**Angelica  
--**

"What time is it?" I hear Chuckie call out from where he sits in the recliner. Dil and Chloe are dozing, curled up on the couch, while Z and Susie wished everyone their best a short while ago and made their escape. The rest of us are lazing on the floor around the Card Well, trying to assemble four sets of three and a pair without falling asleep. To aid us in this quest, there is very strong coffee in everyone's mug, and "Woodface" has been put on and cranked, with the song "Chocolate Cake" echoing throughout the house. Good thing the next door neighbours are playing cards with us or there may be complaints about the noise at this ungodly hour.

I observe my one-remaining-concious cousin as he replies "You don't want to know," without taking his eyes off the game. It must be near enough to dawn - the sun is yet to start trekking up the sky but it can't be far off.

Lil discards a six of dots and there is a so-brief-as-to-be-momentary pause while we all determine that we do not in fact want the card. Except that, just as Phil's about to draw, Kimi finally makes up her mind and yells, "Chow!", swooping in and grabbing the six before Phil can complete his move.

Phil sighs and runs a hand over his lightly stubbled face. "Couldn't quite make up your mind, huh?"

Kimi rolls her eyes at him and you can, if you watch him right, see something flutter in his eyes. "I did it in time," she points out, showing him a four-five-six of dots before laying it down on the table.

I try to smother a yawn as I draw the next card - a red dragon. Confirming I don't need it, I toss it out, only for Phil to yell, "Pung," and claim it.

"Can't we play just one circuit without a chow or pung?" I ask in frustration. Everyone seems to be getting the cards they want except me.

Phil lays three red dragons in front of him, where they join the three white ones. No secret what he's going for. "I could go for a Mhing if you'd prefer."

I glare at him. "You better not. I've been working on this hand all game."

Tommy draws the next card, but I'm not entirely certain he even knows what it is. Despite his best attempts to 'steal' glances at Kimi, he is doing nothing of the sort and is all but ogling her as he plays. I've watched them all night - and, more interestingly, I've watched Phil as well. I always thought Phil was pretty transparent about his feelings for Kimi, moreso, anyway, than Tommy, who is notorious for his failure to express his emotions. The surprise that I found myself experiencing when I heard that Tommy and Kimi had gotten together was therefore mostly due to the idea that Tommy had somehow gotten across that he liked her.

And a little bit because I wondered how an idiot like him could get a girl like her.

Phil's handling of it all has been baffling me. He's barely spared the two a glance all night - to be expected I guess. But the fact that he hasn't let his jealousy show more obviously - only occasionally has it slipped through, and I'm sure then only Lil and I noticed it - is what has surprised me.

True, he's had Susie to distract him, to give him something else to think about, but still...I wish I could have gotten in his head tonight, read his thoughts or something. Seen just how it was he did deal with it.

Phil draws something and works it into his hand, before discarding the nine of bamboo with a tired sounding recitation of the name. This snaps me out of my distraction and I lunge on the card, yelling "Mhing!" and snatching it up. The others groan loudly as I lay my royal run in bamboo - with a pair of eights and a triplet of South Winds - down on the table.

"Alright, I think that's enough punishment for one night," Tommy announces, clambering to his feet. He holds out a hand to Kimi, who takes it and allows him to pull her gracefully out of her kneeling position. They kiss softly, sweetly, and Phil - maybe now just too tired to hide it anymore - turns away from them - unwittingly toward me - with a wince and slight look of pain on his face. But it's gone before it can barely be noticed. He gets to his feet and walks off, away from the table, into the kitchen.

Kimi strolls across to wake the sleepers, but Lil pulls her back. "Don't worry about them, they can just crash here for the night. Or, well, day." Lil strolls over to the linen closet and withdraws some blankets which she tosses over Chuckie, Dil and Chloe. As I watch her perform this simple, motherly act, my heart kind of aches for her. Having to keep a household working with only Phil to help must be taking its toll on her, yet she always has such a friendly demeanour for us. I instantly regret my earlier jab about her parents and decide I should really make it up to her in the near future.

"Sure they won't get up to any...funny business?" I ask, looking at Dil and Chloe. The idea of Dil being old enough to have a girlfriend - a serious girlfriend, whatsmore - still doesn't sit entirely well with me, but the concept of him...getting up to something with her has me downright creeped out.

"They're comatose," Lil assures me. But I wouldn't put it past them to have some kind of mental communication thing going on. And who knows what those two would get up to in their minds.

"You alright to walk home?" Tommy asks Kimi softly. "You can come crash at ours. Dil's not going to be using his room."

"That might be a good idea," Kimi agrees. She turns to Lil. "I'll be back for Chuckie when we're a bit...more concious."

Phil appears in the doorway to the kitchen. "You guys aren't going to stay for breakfast?" he asks. "I'm making fried pizza."

I exchange a look with Lil and Kimi - that does sound tempting. I can see in Kimi's eyes that she's weakening, but then a noise from behind us disturbs the visions of fried egg and bacon and capsicum and...oh, maybe some tomatoes...

Tommy has fallen against the doorframe and is struggling to stay on his feet, having actually passed out standing up. I roll my eyes as Kimi and Phil instinctively dash across to help him up.

"I should probably get him home," Kimi says, wrapping an arm around his neck and shaking him awake. "Come on, T. Let's go for a walk."

Tommy blinks a few times as he wakes up. "Wha' happened?"

Phil lets go of the arm he was holding. "You fell asleep. You should go home and get to bed."

"Yeah. Sounds like a plan," he agrees, groggily. He turns to Phil and claps him on the shoulder, momentarily refreshed. "Thanks for a great night, man. You guys are great hosts."

"We try," Phil says, but it's not with his usual witty bantering tone. It's with a tired, defeated tone that no-one seems to notice, perhaps because tiredness is not entirely uncommon right at the moment.

As Kimi and Tommy stroll, hand-in-hand, out into the eerie morning twilight, Phil watches them leave for a few seconds before finally shutting the door firmly and turning back to me and Lil, staring at us as if daring us to say anything. When neither of us do, he shrugs. "Breakfast?"

--  
**Phil  
--**

I sit in the pre-dawn light, the sky just beginning to come to life. The house is silent, except for Chuckie and Angelica's periodic snores. My hair is damp from a shower, and I'm wearing comfortable, Saturday clothes, having given up on the concept of sleep. I've been shuffling the cards in my hands for far longer than is needed, but now, I'm just waiting.

And then, she sits down in front of me, wearing her own comfortable looking Saturday clothes, stretching out a kink in her neck and rubbing at her hair with a towel. "Are you going to deal those or just shuffle them until your hands fall off?"

I roll my eyes at her and deal them out, one by one.

She observes her fourteen on the table. "Throwback," she declares. "It was a good night."

I pull the eight and six back to me and deliver her a four and a three. Bugger. "It was."

"Susie seemed happier leaving than when she arrived. Hit me."

I throw her a six, leaving her on the ugly 13. "She did. We talked."

"Z asked me out," she tells me. "Hit me."

The deck provides a five and she seems content with the eighteen. "I'm not surprised."

I flip over my own cards, showing a six and a five. I flip one to draw a six, leaving me one short but with no more moves. While I'm cursing my luck, she moves the tab one space toward her. "I think we'll have fun," she says.

"I'm sure you will. He's a great guy, Lil," I remind her, even though I know it's unecessary. She wouldn't be so smitten with him were that not the case.

"I'm sorry, Phil."

I look up at her at this, at the strange, sad look in her eyes, the slightly drawn look about her. Sympathy. Not pity - she knows better than to pity me - but sympathy, and longing for happiness - my happiness, I realise.

We both know to what and whom she refers.

"Thanks," I tell her.

She nods and reaches out to grasp my hand. "I love you, you know."

"I do," I tell her.

She doesn't tell me that she's here for me if I want to talk, or that it'll all be okay, or that she's sure it'll all blow over. Which is good - I don't think I could stand her lying to me.

But she is there for me. And that means a lot.

We play on until long after the break of dawn.

--

**_this was just going to be about P/K/T, but now I think it's going to be more like this: a bit of everybody to keep it interesting. P/K/T will be the focus, but I may dabble in these plots from time to time. please review!_**


	3. World Where You Live

**World Where You Live**  
Acepilot

Author's Notes: This is the 3rd part of the "Recurring Dream" series, following on from "Into Temptation" and "Chocolate Cake". This deals primarily with Tommy and Kimi's relationship, and its effects on Phil, so those of you who were scratching your head at Chocolate Cake, this might be a bit more what you're after.

Just thought I'd let you know - the world has turned upside down since I started writing this chapter months ago. Really - work, my home life, my family, it's just all gone crazy. I'm sorry about the disappearing act and I promise that I will at least try to be more present for a while.

This is inspired by the song of the same name, written by Neil Finn and performed by Crowded House on their eponymous album.

Disclaimer - all characters except Chloe are the property of KlaskyCsupo Animation. No copyright infringement is intended.

---  
Lil  
---

"He's moping," I declare sullenly, looking out the kitchen window.

"Looks like studying," Susie suggests, over the sound of music. My little brother, having decided to study outside on this glorious autumn day, has also decided that music is a vital part of such studying. To this end, rather than going to the trouble of hauling his stereo downstairs, he has simply put the speakers in his bedroom window and cranked the volume. Most of the neighbourhood can probably currently hear The Doors radiating for blocks around, but they're too polite to say anything.

I hope. I really don't want the police visiting.

"No, he's moping," I correct her. "I can tell by the way he keeps looking at the tree."

Which is true enough, but doesn't really seem to pacify Susie, who looks at me with a disbelieving eyebrow raised.

"So, the sixty-four dollar question is: what do you expect us to do about it?" Angelica asks, leaning against the kitchen bench. She has not looked out the window to confirm or deny Phil's state of mind but seems willing to take it as red that he is actually miserable. Z seems similarily happy to take me at face value. Or at least, that's the way it seems, as he's failed to look at pretty much anything other than me the whole time he's been here, and nods and smiles enthusiastically at anything that I say.

As cute and smart as he is, and as flattering as the attention feels, I'm really going to have to work on getting him to focus on the relevant problem.

"I dunno," I say, exasperated. "He won't talk to me. Well, he will - but he won't."

"Pardon?" Z finally speaks up.

I sigh. "He'll talk about meaningless things - studying, the weather, crap like that, he's not shutting me out entirely, but he won't speak about..."

"Kimi and Tommy," Susie finishes for me. "Did anyone else notice him on Friday night?"

"I don't think Kimi and Tommy did, if that's what you mean," Angelica poses it as a question, but coming out of her mouth it's a definitive statement. "They were too busy making moon-eyes at each other. But other than that I think he was hiding it pretty poorly by the end of the night."

Z nods in agreement and shares a worried look with me. "I think he's taking it pretty hard. Chuckie says that Phil asked him to cover his shift today at the Java Lava. And he almost never does that."

"So, I repeat: what are we meant to do?" Angelica asks again. "If he's not willing to talk to you then it's very doubtful we're going to get him to talk to us."

I sigh in frustration. "I don't know! You guys are meant to be the brain's trust here: so, ideas, people!"

"Well, first, we'll get you to an institution, then we'll work on your brother," Angelica decides. "Honestly, what kind of Brain's Trust do you call us? A college drop-out, a cheerleader and...I'm not sure what he is exactly."

"I'm 'suave'," Z insists, tossing his hair back in a very movie-star like fashion. I swoon a little but roll my eyes at him.

"Well, you're all I could find," I admit.

"Flattering," Susie snorts. It's an odd sound coming from her: she rarely snorts, with more of an underlying chuckle to her voice.

"Beggars can't be choosers," Z points out, selecting several likely looking pieces of fruit from the bowl on the table and beginning to juggle. "I think we need to do something to get his mind off Kimi."

"He's doing that himself," Angelica points out. "For all intents and purposes, he's doing everything but think about her. And her date. Today."

---  
Dil  
---

"How do I look?"

I raise my eyes with a cursory glance, but I'm fully aware that anything I say will only be half-realised anyway. "That shirt is too purple for your hair."

Tommy groans in frustration and rips the shirt off, stalking back into his room. "This has to be perfect. I have to look right, I have to be polite, I have to...it has to be perfect!" he ends up reiterating, running out of other things to stress about.

Though I know he can't see it, I shoot him a questioning look. "Why, exactly?"

He makes a sound that can only be described as an exasperated snort. "Because," he begins, slowly as if explaining to a child and not someone in a somewhat serious relationship, "this is our first date. I need to impress her."

The flaw in this logic glares out at me. "Tommy, this isn't some random girl. This is Kimi. She already knows you. She knows everything about you, pretty much. You're years too late to be trying to impress her."

He comes back into the room, pulling on a surprisingly impressive green sweater. It looks a lot better than the purple, at any rate. "This is different. This isn't just the usual time I'd spend with Kimi. This isn't about our friendship: this is a relationship. It's new, it's different. By its very definition, it's different. Didn't you go through this with Chloe?"

I shrug. "Not really. We were just friends, and then when we became a couple, the only real difference is that we kiss a lot more." It takes a few seconds for that sentence to really settle in my head. "Okay, we kiss now. Anyway, the point is that all this stuff, it's irrelevant. By this point you either know each other - and trust each other - or you don't."

"I think it's different for us," Tommy tells me, walking over to the mirror on my closet and attempting to flatten out his hair somewhat. "Maybe you and I are just different people."

I get the distinct feeling that I'm not actually being listened to. "Well, the hair is a dead give-away."

"Pardon?" Tommy says, turning back to me with his hair not really flat but somewhere between neat and a bird's nest. "Did you say something?"

"I guess not," I mutter under my breath. "Just remember to relax and have a good time. If you're as flexible as an ironing board, she's unlikely to enjoy spending the afternoon with you."

He nods. "I know, I know. Relax. Smile. Be yourself. It's all a lot easier said than done."

---  
Susie  
---

I must admit that I approach Phil with caution. The current CD has finished, and he has made no attempt to get up and get a new one, he's merely sitting there with his head buried in a book. Up close I can see what Lil means: though he gives all the pretence of studying on this bright and sunny afternoon, his eyes have a strange vacancy and part of me wonders if anything that he reads is actually making it as far as his brain.

"Hey, Phil," I tentatively call out. "How's it going?"

He shrugs, not looking up from his book but extending a wave with his spare hand. "Hey Susie. I'm well. How're you?"

I pull up one of the patio chairs and sit down near him. "I'm not bad, all things considered."

"What brings you to our neck of the woods? Visiting your folks?" he asks, turning a page with a deliberate slowness.

For some reason it makes me desperately want to grit my teeth. "Yeah, a bit. Also wanted to stop in on you guys."

He finally looks up at me, with a slightly strange expression on his face. Something between being disappointed and being...pleased? "You don't have to look out for us, you know."

I nod. "I know. I just like doing it."

He smiles at me and goes back to his book.

Alright, so there's this white elephant in the room. Or backyard, rather. So how the hell am I meant to broach it without getting squashed underheel?

"What are you reading?"

"The Wife of Martin Guerre," he tells me. "It's a dreadfully boring book. But at least it's short."

"I remember," I tell him. "Required reading generally is. Think you'll do well on the exam?"

He shrugs. "I dunno. Maybe."

This is a bit off-topic, but at least it's comfortable. "Well, what do you need good marks in to get to your uni courses? Can I help tutor you in anything?"

"I dunno," he repeats. "I haven't made up my mind yet. Business studies maybe."

I let that roll around my mind for a moment. Business studies? Does Phil want to run a business? I shake myself from my reverie before finally deciding to steer this conversation in a proactive direction. "Well, whatever you need, just know that I'm here for you."

He gives me a look that implies he's reading the subtext and nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."

He goes back to his book and I become aware that I'm a bit of a failure as the lead off memeber of the Brain's Trust. I search for something - anything - to say to revive our dying conversation, to get him to talk about Kimi, to get him to put down the damn book. But nothing comes to mind. "Goodbye, Phil. I'll catch you later, okay?"

As I begin to walk away, he calls out. "Susie?"

I turn and face him again. "Yes?"

He has put the book down and is now actually looking me in the eye. "If this is about returning a favour or something - I told you to forget about it."

I feel memories spring to mind of the summer gone, knowing instantly what he's talking about. I nod. "I know. It's not. But I haven't forgotten about it." I walk back over to him and clasp his shoulder. "You've been there for me when I needed you. Both then and on Friday. It's not a favour that I can ever repay and I don't want to try but I want to be able to do the same for you. We're friends."

"Friends." He reaches up and holds my hand. "Thank you, Susie."

He lets go and I really do leave this time, walking back into the house with tears forming in my periphery. I brush them away as I breeze through the kitchen and enter the lounge. Z and Lil are sitting cross legged facing each other on the floor and talking while Angelica plays Solitaire on the coffee table with a left-over deck of cards. It's Angelica who notices my presence first, and she clears her throat to get the attention of the other two. "So, how did it go?"

"I don't know," I say. "It was a bit hard to tell. He didn't say anything about Kimi or Tommy, but...I don't know."

"Well, guess I'm up then," Z volunteers, rising to his feet and stretching his slightly stiff legs. "Wouldn't want to interrupt Angelica's intense competition."

---  
Chuckie  
---

"He's late!"

I resist the temptation to bang my head against the countertop. "He's not late."

"Well, it feels like he's late. What time is it?"

I check the clock on the wall, not entirely clear on why she couldn't answer her own question. "It's five minutes to two. And while he really should be a few minutes early, I'll grant you, it's not like he's actually late. You said you'd meet him at two."

My sister growls - I'm not sure if it's directed at me or my dangerously absent best friend. "Why is it your gender can't comprehend the idea of being punctual?"

"Because it's been drilled into us that we need to always be fashionably late," Tommy announces, the bell jingling as he strides through the door, a broad grin on his face. I'll admit - he scrubs up pretty well when there's an incentive, and I guess my little sister counts. "But I think I know better than that."

Kimi shoots him a wry grin before stepping up to him and giving him a kiss, which I avert my eyes from. Yeah, childish maybe, but this is my sister after all. I have no desire to see that.

"So, what are you two crazy kids up to this afternoon?" I ask, wiping down the counter in an attempt to look busy and as if Mom and Dad haven't asked me to snoop for information.

"Going to see a movie, grab a bite to eat,' Kimi tells me, not taking her eyes off Tommy. She appears to be actually stroking his bicep, the concept of which is enough to very nearly make me physically ill. "So you tell Mom and Dad that we are well behaved young people and can take care of ourselves, alright? And that if they want to spy on us, they are welcome to do it themselves."

I throw her a glare. "Have a nice day, guys."

"Oh, we will," she says, a mischevious grin on her face as she pulls a quite-willing Tommy out the door.

---  
Lil  
---

"I don't think it's going very well," Angelica points out as she watches from the kitchen window.

I stir the coffees slowly and try not to watch where my brother and my boyfriend are discussing...well, hopefully Tommy and Kimi. But I'm not holding my breath on that count. Getting Phil to unlock whatever it is that's going on in his head is going to be a more than mild challenge. "What gives you that impression?"

"Z seems to be doing all the talking," she tells me, accepting a cup as I join her at the window. "I don't think Phil's actually said anything to him."

I sigh. "Maybe we're going about this wrong. Maybe I should have just let him...brood, mope, whatever. Let him deal with this and move on in his own time."

Angelica snorts. "Unlikely, Lillikins. He doesn't want to move on from her. He's obsessed. Maybe not in a creepy-stalker kind of way, but it's an obsession all the same." Her face takes on a slightly more serious demeanour. "Obsessions are hard things to kick."

"I think you're referring to addictions," I suggest.

Her eyes flicker for a second before she shrugs. "Much of a muchness, you ask me." She shakes off...whatever the hell that just was, and returns to staring out the window. "I really don't think Z is having any luck out there," she reiterates.

I nod. "I think you're right. He'll come in when he's worked that out. What about you?"

She raises an eyebrow. "What about me?"

"Are you going to try and convince him to talk?"

She shrugs. "No, probably not. He won't come in on his own, but you're kidding yourself if you think he's going to listen to me."

I barely hold back a growl under my breath. "Thanks, Ange. You're a big help."

Angelica is about to offer a retort of some kind when we hear the door open and slam shut, and hear Susie sputter slightly in surprise over saying "Hello" from her current post in the lounge room.

The reason for her surprise becomes quickly obvious when we are joined by Wally, who drops her sports bag at her feet. "Soccer practice ran really overtime. Did you call me?"

---  
Kimi  
---

The movie was good. I guess. I mean, for a first date, the movies is a fairly unspectacular way to socialise. You're sitting there, in the dark, unable to really talk, or see each other. First dates are about getting to know each other, so why does everyone - it seems without fail - always want to go to the movies for them? It's just...

Anyway, at least it was a good movie. We held hands, he bought my ticket and my soda and a big tub of popcorn - which, at the movies, is a very serious financial investment - so I'm happy and fulfilled that this has been a fun and successful date. Well, the first part of it has, anyway. The second, much more serious part - the sit-down-face-each-other bit - is now proving to be the interesting challenge.

The Catspyjamas Cafe' is the perfect dating environment. It's small, but open and friendly - not too romantic and intimate to be intimidating on a first date, but still offering privacy and a charming sense of fun and togetherness.

Part of me is starting to feel like I'm rationalising, that my thoughts are beginning to make no sense.

I decide to begin a conversation, if for no other reason than to stop myself over thinking every little thing about this date. "The movie was good." It, in fact, wasn't really that great. It was a good date movie - safe, funny, vaguely romantic. But it definitely wasn't something I'd watch again.

"It was okay. But the shots on the beach were really terribly filmed. I mean, he seemed to be using that crane shot just because he could, when he really could have got a much better effect by..." Tommy trails off his monologue when he sees the look on my face. "But it was great fun because I was there with you."

I smile at his answer and reach across the table to grasp his hand. "I think so too."

"Can I take your order?" a waitress asks, standing over us with such alarming suddeness that I never even saw her coming.

Tommy turns from staring into my eyes, and the moment we were sharing slips away. "I'll have coffee, thanks."

"Tea, English breakfast, thank you," I tell her.

"Won't be a moment," she tells us, and seems to float off to the kitchen with the same disconcerting speed that she arrived with.

"Strange," I mutter, but Tommy doesn't seem to hear me.

"So..." he begins, and I find myself watching his mind working behind his eyes, trying to find something to follow that beginning with.

And with startling clarity, I realise that this is what Chuckie was talking about. He spent quite some time trying to explain to me that this whole stress thing I was going through about our first date was nonsense - he described it as closer to our fifteenth date, acutally - because we already knew all the getting to know you stuff, we'd already talked our small talk, we'd been there and done that. I wonder if Dil tried to warn Tommy of the same thing.

But, sitting here trying to come up with small talk, part of me realises that this isn't necessarily as bad a thing as everyone else seems to think it is. Yeah, so we know each other a lot better than most people on a first date. But that's a positive. Less to be surprised about - more of a stable building block than we might have had otherwise. Less to talk about - but in a way, more to talk about. We can trust each other with things - things that we mightn't otherwise. Because now, we can cross the line that kept us from only say things appropriate to friends and talk to each other as something else...something...more.

By the time we decide to have cake with our drinks, I've learnt more about him than I ever knew existed.

---  
Phil  
---

By the time Z has gone back inside, seemingly defeated, I'm kind of wondering who's going to be next.

It's not that I'm not touched, and flattered, I guess, by the attention of my friends, but it is a little irritating. I mean, okay, yeah, I'm a bit down in the dumps, and I kind of knew that I wouldn't really be able to hide it from Lil. But, seriously, they could at least try and be a little subtle.

Or trust me that I'll pull myself out of it.

It's not so much that I'm not with her. It's that she's with him. It's that she doesn't like me - doesn't want me. When it was just her and me as friends, it was okay that we weren't together. Yes, I'd have liked to be with her, but the fact that I wasn't was hardly going to kill me. But now that she's with Tommy...now I know that shed doesn't actually want me. That she wants him instead, and that even if I had asked her out, properly, I probably wouldn't have stood a chance.

And that's what's got me kind of depressed. Not losing. Knowing that I never had a shot.

And then a soccer ball hits me in the head.

"Ow," I mutter, a bit disbelievingly, wondering where the hell that just came from. I look around vaguely and see the ball where it has bounced to off in the yard, before turning to the back door and seeing her there, leaning up against the doorjamb with a smug look on her face and a raised eyebrow.

"You slacker. It's a glorious summer day and instead of our playing games you're sitting here studying?" she asks with disdain. "You might almost think you're a student or something."

I try to smile and glare at her at the same time but unsurprisingly, this doesn't really work. "Hello, Wally."

"Oh well," she continues, as if I haven't spoken, "it's a good think you're goregous. I'll just have to forgive you."

I roll my eyes a little as she walks past, ruffling my hair on the way. She picks up the soccer ball. "Now, come on, book-boy. You up for a game?"

I'll admit that this is at least a new strategy that no-one has tried yet on me. "Yeah, sure, why not?" I clamber out of my chair with some difficulty - I've been sitting in it for a while, I guess, and my legs are slightly asleep - and stretch a bit.

"Good. Work off some of that flab."

I effect an offended air. "Hey. I'm not fat."

"Whatever you think, Philly."

Alright - so here's the crazy thing. I'm sitting around moping about Kimi. Why? Yeah, so she likes Tommy, and doesn't like me...but why does that have to matter.

Wally likes me. No mixed messages, no uncertainty. She likes me. We flirt, we have fun, we like a lot of the same things and she likes me. She's cute, she'll play sport with me, or video games, or...

A small voice in my mind reminds me that these are things I used to do with Kimi, but I brush it aside. I don't need Wally to be Kimi. I just need her to be Wally. Because Wally likes me.

Kimi doesn't.

"Hey, what are you doing after school tomorrow?" I ask.

She shrugs, "Nothing, why?"

I smile.

---

i hope you enjoyed it. please read and review, chapter 4 will be up soonish. i hope!


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